Why? Grateful?

I just watched John jump onto the couch like he was sliding into third base with an oxygen cannula on. He is so resilient

If you can stop asking Why? You can enjoy what is right in front of you. I am not sure when I stopped asking why this happened to John. I still ask when he gets sick or ends up in the ICU. It’s hard to believe in “the grace of God” and a God that is “merciful” while you’re watching your child suffer, struggling to breath or in pain. It is hard to understand.

For me, I stopped trying to understand. I am grateful for the doctors experienced hands in the operating room, I am grateful for the nurse that gives him pain medicine, I am grateful for the pain medicine. Thank God for breathing treatments and ventilators. Thank God for the people before us that invented these devices so we can live our lives.

I belong to a gratitude list via email with a few friends that live in gratitude. I have a hard time contributing to the list because I feel like my gratitude is too different. However, I do enjoy having a little window into their worlds.  While they are grateful for vacations homes being so airy, the kids getting good grades and having great nannies I am grateful for oxygen, ventilators and finally finding a care provider for him after going through several. I’m grateful for his resilience, determination and strength. I’m grateful for the changes his life have brought into mine. I’m grateful for the sincere people who have crossed our paths because of John. Including doctors, nurses and other parents with special needs children…

I am grateful for love… without it we have nothing.

What are you grateful for?

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